


There's No Need to Lie

by Proskenion



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Corporal Punishment, Flogging, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Pre-Canon, Romance, Self-Sacrifice, Torture, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-12 18:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21480991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proskenion/pseuds/Proskenion
Summary: Asra has disobeyed Lucio's orders, but when the Count asks for answers Julian takes the blame.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	There's No Need to Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> This is my first Arcana fanfic. I've finished Julian's route and I'm now doing the others' routes. I absolutely love Asra and Julian (actually all the characters are fantastic and I care about them so much) and I wanted to explore a bit their relationship before the plague and all that, and I also wanted to satisfy my thirst for angst ahem.  
So, I don't know if all this makes sense regarding the game's plot, but in my mind it takes place before the plague, at the beginning of Asra and Julian's relationship and just after all the characters just met. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

"You're aware Lucio forbid it, right ?" 

Asra looked into Julian's eyes and blushed. 

"I know," the magician said, looking at his feet. "But I couldn't left those kids like that, could I ?" 

Julian didn't answer. He smirked, looking intensely at Asra. Of course he couldn't. Asra had such a tender heart, and quite a brave spirit. He always knew how and when to do the right thing. Julian wished he could say the same thing about himself. 

"Beside, Lucio might not even notice," Asra added. "What are a few fur blankets to him? He's got plenty of them !" 

Count Lucio had declared that every thing that was found inside the palace's walls was to stay inside, because it belonged to him and him alone. It didn't matter how harsh the winter were, and how cold and hungry the people of Vesuvia. 

"But he will notice," Julian said eventually. "What will you do when he does ?" 

"Indure his fury, I suppose. Though again, I'm not sure he will. He is so drowned into his own self worshipping and luxury that it will probably fly far above his head." 

"Careful," Julian warned, coming closer, "walls have ears." 

"Do you plan to turn me in?" Asra teased, leaning forward to give Julian a kiss. 

Julian closed his eyes, receiving his lover's lips on his. But as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, Asra stepped back. 

"I don't know about you, but I've got work to do," the magician said, walking away. 

"Er, I - I - yes, me too," Julian mumbled. 

Asra answered with a light, warm laugh. He was about to leave the room when he was stopped by Julian calling his name. 

"Er, Asra, I was thinking... I just have a few things to study, so if it's compatible with what you have to do, maybe... maybe we can stay together?" 

Asra smiled. 

"It's definitely compatible with what I have to do." 

"Oh, fine. Let me just go get a book in the library, then." 

"Well, let's go there together." 

***

The library was silent. Asra was kneeling in front if the hearth, deeply absorbed in his arcana deck. Julian was lying a few feet away from him, absent-mindly reading a book. Suddenly he burst out laughing.

"Did I ever tell you the story of..." 

"You surely did," Asra cut him short without looking away from his cards. 

"You don't even know what I was about to say," Julian complained. 

"No, but you've telling me hundreds of stories already," the magician answered, finally looking up at his friend. 

Julian mimicked an offended face, making Asra laugh. That's when the door of the library swung open. 

"You two !" Lucio exclaimed. "A number of fur blankets are missing. Do you know anything about it ?" 

Julian and Asra looked at each other. Asra slowly gathered his cards and stood up. But before he was about to say anything, Julian talked. 

"I took them," the doctor said. "Gave them to a bunch of children. They were cold, you see." 

Asra spun around, staring at Julian with wide, bewildered eyes. 

"Ilya, what are you doing?" 

Julian stood up. 

"There's no need lying to the Count, my love," Julian said. 

He winked to Asra, but his friend shook his head with a frown. 

"Indeed, there's no need to lie," Asra said coldly. "Count Lucio, I..." 

"Shut up," the Count ordered sharply. "Doctor Devorak, are you saying you deliberately disobey my orders ?" 

"Well, yes, I think that's what I'm saying." 

"No !" Asra exclaimed. "He didn't! I did!" 

"That's very noble of you to try to protect me, my dear, but don't be silly. Dear Count, I did give those blankets to children outside the palace's gates, despite your orders. I would love to apologise, but I actually don't think this was a wrong thing to do." 

Asra closed his eyes and greeted his teeth. What was Julian playing at, provoking Lucio like that ? When he opened his eyes again, the smirk on Lucio's face set a shiver down his spine. 

"Well," the Count said with a smooth voice, "if it is so, you surely need a punishment fitting the crime. Guards !" 

As gards came in, Asra stepped forward toward Lucio, asking him to reconsider, but Lucio shut him up with a hand gesture. Following the guards, Julian looked back at Asra, who was looking at him with concern, but also with annoyance. Julian smirked, and winked at him again. 

*** 

Lucio had decided to make it an example. To make it big. "The people need distraction... and a good lesson," he had said. 

Asra had tried everything to make him change his mind, but to no avail. Lucio had first listened to him absent-mindly, quite amused, and when he had started to get bored with the magician's plea he had simply locked himself up in his room. 

Now everyone was in the yard. The wind was icy but quite fortunately there was no rain nor snow. Julian had his wrists tied up together in front of him. He was standing on a small wooden platform, near a whipping post. In front of him was Count Lucio, behind whom the Countess Nadia was seated, expression neutral and dignified. Behind Julian, a crowd was gathered. 

"People of Vesuvia, here stand in front of you Doctor Julian Devorak, who blatantly and knowingly disobeyed my orders. For that, he shall be punished by flogging." 

The crowd was holding their breath. Julian looked for Asra. He found him not far from where the Count and Countess were. He was staring sternly at him. Julian swallowed, feeling his cheeks blushing a bit. Why was Asra's gaze so harsh ? 

"Tell me, Doctor," Lucio called, "how many lashes do you think you deserve?" 

Lucio's voice drew Julian from his thoughts. Turning his face to the Count, he declared with a smile in his voice : 

"That's not for me to say, my lord." 

Count Lucio laughed. Then he asked the crowd, but only silence and whistling wind was heard. 

"It seems like I have to take all the decisions here. Wells let's say... a good dozen." 

Julian's eyes widened. He hadn't expected that many. But he managed to keep his composure, a smirk even finding its way on his lips. He complied when a guard came to untie his wrists, get rid of his coat and shirt and attached him to the whipping post. There, Julian closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his fists, skin brushing the wood of the post, and he focused on his breathing. _I can take it_, he told himself, _just have to remember to breathe, I can take it..._

Steps made the wood of the stage tremble a bit as the man who were to flog Julian took his position. Julian greeted his teeth. 

The first blow came strong, lending right in the middle of his back, leaving a burning line between his shoulder blades. A whimper escaped his lips against his will, fortunately too low to be heard by anyone but him. The second blow came quickly after, almost on the same spot. Julian arched his back but he made no sound this time. Julian exhaled deeply. He tensed, getting ready for the third lash. But it didn't come. Confused, Julian turned his head to look behind, his muscles relaxing without him noticing. 

Just when his eyes caught a glimpse of what was going on behind him, the leather of the whip licked his bare skin viciously, catching him unprepared. His whole body jolted, collapsing on the wooden post. He cried out. From his seat, Lucio sneered just loud enough for Julian to hear him. Julian greeted his teeth in vexation.

The fourth lash was the hardest. Julian felt his skin break and a warm liquid run down his back. He closed his eyes tight, clenched his fist, tensing his whole body as if trying to make himself smaller. 

Julian thought about Pasha. No matter where she was now, he hoped she was safe. 

The fifth blow came.

What would she feel if she were to see him like this ? Would she cry ? She probably would, and he couldn't bare the thought of it.

Six. Seven. Eight. 

She surely was safe, she had to be. Safer than if she was here with him, anyway. Everyone was always safer when he wasn't there to drag them down. 

Nine. Ten. 

Julian felt his strength fade. If it wasn't for the bonds around his wrists he would have fallen to his knees by now. Tears ran down his cheeks, and he didn't try to hold his whimpers back now. 

Eleven. 

A strangle sob escaped his lips. A name. Pasha. Asra. 

The next lash gave him the impression his back was split in two. He cried out, sobbing. Twelve. Twelve lashes. It was over. It was meant to be over... 

But as if to prove something, to punctuate the action, to conclude his ordeal, the man who was holding the whip gave one last, strong blow. Julian felt the leather embracing each ounce of his already damaged skin, pushing him forward with the strength of the blow, his body bouncing against the whipping post. 

After that it stopped, and Julian left his last strength leave him. His whole body collapsed, except from his arms attached to the post. The yard was silent for a while. Then Lucio spoke. 

"Here, people of Vesuvia. This is what it cost to disobey me!" 

Julian was breathless and Lucio's voice seemed to come from far away. He felt someone coming to untie him and he sighed with relief. But Lucio's voice rose again, freezing his blood inside him. 

"Leave him there," the Count ordered. "He shall stay here until sunset, so everyone can see what happens when my rules aren't followed. So maybe no one will forget : I'm to be obeyed, and respected." 

Julian's heart started racing. Lucio couldn't really mean it. A flogging, as bad as it was, Julian could take it. But this ? Staying there, wounded, in the icing cold, tied up to a post for hours ? Submitted to the everyone's gaze ?

He turned his face to Lucio. He called him, but the Count ignored him and went away, smirking. Countess Nadia stayed unblinking, but her eyes betrayed her emotion. Pain. 

Julian looked for Asra, but he couldn't spot him anywhere. 

***

At sunset someone finally came to untie Julian. He fell to his knees, and looked at his hands, clenching and opening his fists and trying to put some life back into his fingers. 

The person who had come to free him was a servant girl from the palace. She asked him if he could stand, and Julian nodded. She escorted him to his room, Julian following her quietly, his limbs made numb by cold and pain. When he reached his room, he rushed inside, and collapsed on his bed. He was happy to see someone had lit a fire in the hearth. 

After a few moment, the door opened. 

"Asra," Julian greeted. "I was wondering where you were." 

"How do you feel?" Asra asked, coming in. 

"Couldn't feel better !" Julian joked, but as he moved to make room for Asra to sit on the bed next to him, he winced in pain. 

Asra gave him a stern look and ordered him to lie still on his belly. Julian complied, vaguely gesturing to a cupboard.

"There are supplies here if..." 

"I don't need your medicine," Asra cut him short, quite sharply. "I have my own methods." 

Julian startled. Was Asra cross with him? He asked, and as he got no answer, he concluded that he was indeed. He sighed, putting his head on his pillow.

"Why are you angry now?" He asked. 

"Are you seriously asking?" Asra asked back. "Do you realise in what state you're in?" 

"I pretty much do, yes. That's my back you're healing, and I assure you I can feel the cuts." 

Asra gave him an annoyed glance. For one moment none of them spoke. But Julian couldn't stay quiet for long, and he finally said : 

"I did it for you, you know. Sulking is a weird way to thank me." 

"For me?" Asra repeated, getting up. "You didn't do it for me!" 

"Oh and why did I do it, then?" 

"You did it for the drama of it! For your unsuffurable pleasure to put yourself into painful situation!" 

Julian's eyes widened. He found himself speechless and baffled. He slowly sat up to face Asra, who were standing in the middle of the room, breathless.

"Is that what you really think?" Julian finally asked in a small voice. 

"Oh please, stop pretending now."

"I did it to protect you from Lucio's wrath!" 

"You did it because you love being in trouble. You did it to punish yourself for whatever you think you did wrong in your life. And if you think that's not why you actually did it, you're lying to yourself!" 

They stared at each other. Asra looked angry and pained. Julian looked down. He closed his eyes, trying to repress the tears that were coming. How was it he always managed to fail? To do the wrong thing, even when he tried not to? How could he always hurt the people he cared about, even when he acted in order to protect them? How could he be such a worthless, horrible piece of work? 

He jumped when he felt Asra's hand on his shoulder. He looked up but he couldn't support the magician's gaze.

"Lie back down," Asra said softly. "I'm not done healing your wounds." 

Julian obeyed in silence. He buried his face in his pillow. If only he could disappear once and for all...

"There, it's done," Asra finally said. 

Julian didn't move. For a while, nothing was heard except from the cracking fire. Julian wondered if Asra was gone. Suddenly, he felt his friend's fingers brushing his hair, tangling the curls. He shivered. 

"Ilya, look at me," Asra whispered gently. 

Hesitantly, Julian turned around. He looked up at Asra shyly and found out he was smiling. His smile was rather sad, though, and failed to really comfort him. 

"How do you think I felt, watching you being whipped like that?" Asra asked eventually. 

"How do you think I would have felt if it was you tied up to this whipping post instead of me?" Julian asked back. 

"Lucio wouldn't have done this to me," Asra replied firmly.

"How can you be so sure?" 

Actually, Asra wasn't. But, unlike Julian, he knew how to talk to Lucio to calm him down. He knew how to sugarcoat things and not provoke him. Julian, on the other hand, was a born provocateur. 

"Don't ever do anything like that again," Asra said. "I can take care of myself." 

Julian lowered his gaze with shame. Asra bent forward to kiss him but he was stopped by a knock on the door. The two lovers turned to the door to discover Countess Nadia in the door frame. 

"Please, don't get up," she said, entering the room. "I just... I just wanted to check that Doctor Devorak was alright." 

"He is, your Majesty, I just tended to his wounds," Asra answered. "Thank you for checking on him." 

"Yes, thank you, Countess," Julian added, blushing a bit. 

"I'm glad to hear it," she said with a smile. "And please, call me Nadia. Both of you." 

"Uh, as you wish, Coun... Nadia," Asra mumbled. 

"Only if you call me Julian," Ilya added with a grin.

Nadia laughed. She looked at the both of them and said : 

"It's agreed then, we're on a first name basis now, you two and I. Well, I won't bother you any longer. Sorry for interrupting. Have a good night, Julian, Asra." 

"Good night, Nadia," Julian said. 

"Good night," Asra repeated. 

She smiled and got out, closing the door silently behind her. Asra and Julian stared at each other. 

"Well, that was a thing," Asra said. 

"Did she wink at me? I think she did." 

Asra snorted and Julian smirked. Then silence fell, with a hint of the previous tension remaining. Julian bit his lower lip. 

"Will you... will you stay with me tonight?" 

He looked sheepishly at Asra. The magician first didn't react but he couldn't stay stony-faced for too long. He chuckled.

"I can't resist you when you look at me like that." 

Julian smiled and moved to allow Asra to lie down next to him. They faced each other, lying quietly on the soft mattress. 

"So, what have you done to my wounds exactly ? They still sting a little but it's nothing compared to what it was."

"I simply used a spell that accelerated the healing process. Your cuts now look like they should have in a few weeks." 

Julian nodded. Way much more efficient than what any of his medicines could have done. He felt a bit of envy at Asra's magical power. He could study as hard as he wanted, give himself entirely to medical science, someone like Asra would always be better at curing people than he will. But again, being better than he was wasn't that difficult. 

"What are you thinking about ?" Asra asked. 

Julian shook his head, drawn out of his thoughts. He smirked, looking at Asra hungrily.

"I was thinking about all the things I could do to you." 

"Oh, and what are they?" Asra asked with a cheeky grin.

"Let me show you." 

After Julian showed Asra a great deal of all the things he could do to him, he fell asleep in the magician's arms. Asra didn't sleep. He looked at Julian fondly, but with a dash of concern and a hint of sadness. How sweet and genuine Julian looked, sleeping like that against Asra's chest. The magician sighed softly. If only Julian could always be like that. How many times Asra had asked him to stop looking for trouble. Even tonight, he had burned to make him swear to never do anything like that again. But what use was such a promise, when Asra knew Ilya would never keep it. 

Julian moaned, frowning in his sleep. Asra looked down. He was having a nightmare again. If only he would open to him, tell him what made him think so little of himself. But Julian would never let his walls down, not even to him. Asra hold him tighter, bending over to put a gentle kiss on his forehead, and Julian relaxed without waking up. 

Asra sighed again. He closed his eyes, hoping to find sleep soon. There was nothing else he could do.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ! Reviews are much appreciated ;) <3


End file.
